How to Deal With Sexual Frustration in Your Long Distance Relationship?

The lack of sex in a long-distance relationship can drive even the sanest people crazy. Although there are many things you can easily get frustrated by in an LDR, the lack of physical intimacy is perhaps the most frustrating of them all.

While there are Skype and other technologies, none of these things can truly replace the joys of physical touch.

The good news is that there are many things you and your partner can do to help manage the sexual frustration caused by your long-distance relationship. In other words, you can still enjoy each other sexually, even when you are not together.

Here are the top tips on how to make a long-distance relationship work sexually:

Set the Boundaries 

Perhaps the most important tip of all on how to handle a long-distance relationship sexually is to set the boundaries with your partner. Have a discussion via phone or video call about what is and isn’t allowed, and what the two of you are comfortable with.

For example:

  • Are either of you allowed to masturbate when you’re alone?
  • Does the idea of getting naked on camera excite the both of you?
  • Are there any sex games or remote sex toys that you’d like to try?

Remember that both of you must be fully okay with something before you decide to give it a try.

To avoid getting sexually frustrated with each other, you should also agree on how often you expect to share intimacy and have LDR sex.

Have a Virtual Date Night

Real-life sex should begin with a romantic evening before the main action, so why should long-distance sex be any different?

Schedule date nights with your partner through video chat. To make it seem more intimate, you can both watch the other cook their meals, or you can dress up in a nice suit or dress as if you were out at a nice restaurant. 

Use Remote Sex Toys 

Remote sex toys exist almost solely so that couples can engage in LDR sex. Long-distance sex toys usually come in a set of male and female toys that are sold together. Companies like Lovense make really great sets of LDR sex toys.

The male sex toy is usually a sleeve designed to slide over the penis, and the female sex toy is a vibrator or an egg designed to fit nicely into the vagina.

The toys connect to one another via Bluetooth, and you can then send pulsations and vibrations to your partner’s toy. It may not be the same thing as actual intercourse, but it’s still a fun substitute before you guys jump back into bed together!

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Have An Email Inbox Just For Them

Create a new email account that is used solely to communicate with your partner. It will always be more exciting and special to log in to your ‘love inbox’ to see what your partner has sent you than checking your primary work or personal email.

Write Out Your Fantasies & Click Send

Now that you have your own love inbox, it’s time to take things to the next level.

Write out a detailed sexual fantasy that you would like to enjoy with your partner. Whether it is something sweet like making love by the fire in a log cabin up in the snowy mountains, or something a bit more risqué like having sex on the beach at night, be as specific as you can.

Sharing erotic stories (and discussing them in person) evokes new feelings of intimacy that will only strengthen the sexual connection you share.

Strip Naked on Camera

Video chat is really the only option if you want to see each other while you are many miles apart. So long as you’re on camera and enjoying some fine wine with your partner on a virtual date…why not be naked?

There are many exciting things you can do in the nude on camera to please your partner as they watch, including:

  • Taking off your clothes slowly as a striptease.
  • Enjoying a hot and soapy bath or shower.
  • Doing normal household chores in the nude, such as washing the dishes or dusting the furniture.
  • Posing while your partner draws or paints you.
  • Getting a good workout in (pushups, pullups, jumping jacks, yoga poses, etc.).

Play Truth or Dare

Once you’re naked on camera, there’s really no limits to what you get to do with your partner. While stripping in front of them or taking a soapy bath is fun, you’ll both want to take things further sooner or later.

One of the most fun sex games that you can play over video chat is Truth or Dare. Ask your partner naughty questions for truths such as:

  • What is something you’ve always wanted to do sexually, but haven’t yet?
  • Do you ever fantasize about other people watching us have sex?
  • Would you ever want to visit a sex resort?
  • If we ever had a threesome, who would you want to do it with?

When it comes to the dares, you can dare them to:

  • Walk naked over to a window for three seconds.
  • Send each other GIFs, and then re-enact them while naked.
  • Slather chocolate or whipped cream over his penis or her breasts.

Role Play  

Yes, you most certainly can role play with your partner even when you’re in an LDR. If anything, you should view role-playing is another type of Skype sex game like we just discussed above.

If you’re at a loss for ideas, you can pretend that you’re a patient who has to strip for an examination for the doctor. Or you can pretend that you’re a casting director and your partner is an actor or actress who needs to audition for a nude scene.

Are there any other naughty role-playing ideas that you can think of?

Final Thought

As a final piece of advice, remember, the element of surprise is always necessary to help make long-distance relationship sex work.

In addition to the above ideas, come up with your own creative ideas, and make it a surprise to your partner rather than planning it out ahead of time.

Image credit: Photo created by ArthurHidden

We are Max from France and Ella from Finland. We met in Australia in 2008 while we were both backpacking around this amazing country. After returning to Europe, we went through all the hardships of a long-distance relationship for almost three years! And we survived it!

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